My Way

My favorite song is “My Way” by Frank Sinatra.  This song makes my heart swell with love, joy, longing, and camaraderie.  I shared a love of Frank Sinatra with the most influential man in my life, my grandfather.  When he heard this song (and we heard it often!) … you could see the words in his eyes.  He felt like Frank was crooning about his own life, and now as an adult I feel the same. 

When I was a little girl, I made a promise to my grandpa that I would sing this song at his funeral someday.  He always told me how much he loved my voice– he inspired 90% of my entire musical career.  I promised, and he reminded me of this promise nearly every time I saw him.

The day he died, I had to confront this promise.  I had bad funeral “performance” experience in the past… and I didn’t feel I could ever be on the funeral stage again.  I was so heartbroken that he was gone, there was no way I could get up in front of everyone else that was heartbroken with me, and sing.  It was too much, and I couldn’t handle it.  So I didn’t, and now it haunts me.  The one and only thing my grandpa ever REALLY wanted from me, and I couldn’t do it.  After all he’d done for me, I failed him.  I did it my way, and I feel really, really shitty about it.

 

My Way, Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life thats full.
I’ve traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say – not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows –
And did it my way.

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