I want so much more out of my life than I have allowed to actually come to fruition. I’m excited to finally feel like I am headed down a positive path that will help me achieve everything I dream of.
It took a long time to get here, to this point that I actually feel capable of being the boss of my own life. I don’t know if it’s personality, or the road I’ve traveled that has made me who I am– but until recently I’ve felt somewhat out of control of my life. Like someone else was steering, and I was merely along for the ride.
When I hit “the Big 3-0” I started taking inventory of my life, who I am and where I’m headed. I discovered it doesn’t quite match up– this life isn’t mine. It isn’t who I want to be, it isn’t who I am on the inside. I want so much more for myself, for my family. I’ve made a mental checklist of things I desire, things I feel are non-negotiable, things that make me feel whole. I’m not speaking of material things… I’m speaking of the deepest heart’s desires.
For some reason, even around my peers, I’ve felt like I am not 100% a grown-up. I wouldn’t say I’ve felt childish, just like everyone else was much more mature than I was. I felt like when I was doing adult-type things (such as grocery shopping, calling creditors, etc), I felt like a little kid using 411 for the first time! LOL Like it was something an adult should do for me. I don’t know… weird I guess.
Anyway, since I’ve turned 30, I don’t really feel like that anymore. I feel like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I can handle anything! Then I did the “inventory”…. and was like “Wait a second. That’s not how I would do it!” lol…
This probably sounds like a bunch of psycho-babble to all you mature folks out there, but it makes perfect sense in my brain! 😉
And you know, taking charge of my direction like this…. it’s liberating! It’s empowering. It feels really, REALLY good. It’s something I’ve been craving and didn’t even realize it! So that’s why I’m so excited about it.