I saw this quote in an email, and it really struck me.
Why do we, as humans, instinctually crave acceptance- even from those that treat us poorly?
I really struggle with this. There have been so many people along the road that treat me like a doormat, I’m sure it is the same with most everyone- we all have people in and out of our lives that we’d rather have out more than in. Is it because we long for approval from them? Is it because deep down, we know they treat us that way because they think they are better ( smarter; prettier; etc ) , and we want them to realize the err in their thinking?
Back to the “10% situation, 90% reaction” theory, I always choose to find the best in someone and give them the benefit of the doubt. I would rather give them the chance and be wrong, than not give them a chance and be wrong. People surprise me all the time, with their good deeds and bad ones.
At what point is it okay to say, “Ok, I’m done. I don’t like you in my life anymore. I don’t like the way you treat me. I don’t like the way you make me feel. I don’t want to know you anymore.” ???
Is it ever appropriate to give up on someone? To say, “Yep, I know you are a work in progress, just like I am, but I just don’t think you’ll ever be good enough to be part of my life. You are a bad seed, and I’m better than that.”
I don’t think it is. I wouldn’t ever want people to give up on me. I don’t believe it is ever okay to so self-righteous that you choose to believe you are above anyone else. Everyone makes mistakes, including YOU. Including me. Everyone has bad days. Everyone has scars that influence their actions, in one way or another. A persons “bad choice” could actually be a 100% improvement on a choice they made in the past.
That said… I do think it’s important to prioritize the people that DO treat you right. Giving a wrong-doer neverending chances with the hope of improving them or enlightening them doesn’t mean that they should come first. I have a tendency to want to fix everyone, I want to change the world for better… which means I have a tendency to allow the wrong-doer’s to cut in the front of my line.
I need to work on that.